RANT: Fa La La Lardo

Ok my lil’ Sugar Plums, tis the season for over indulgence.  If you made it through Thanksgiving without heartburn or a pant size adjustment, good on ya!  But holiday parties abound these next few weeks. So brace yourself and your belts.  I could name 900 tasty treats you are likely to encounter this Yuletide, from egg nog to saltine toffee (<-do not click there, it’s a recipe for crack.  But it’s easy and technically could be made with all natural ingredients….)

Don’t do it! Don’t get sucked in to the holiday gluttony vortex!  Stay away from the smorgasbord!

Firstly, eat a handful of almonds and drink 2 glasses of water before going to any cocktail party.  Upon arriving, drop off your tasty treat (see above saltine toffee) with the host(ess) and then ask for a glass of water.  Sip this this down first, before grabbing a cocktail, and anytime awkwardness ensues.  Instead of gorging on the inevitably delicious distractions, take in the host’s family photos and decorations.  You never know what gems you may find! Don’t go all ‘sock drawer’ or anything–stick to the ground floor.   And avoid lingering in bedrooms.  As a guest, that’s kinda creepy.

If you find it relaxing or simply a must to have a cocktail or 3, opt for red wine or liquor drinks sans mixers (go for water with a squeeze of lime or honey).  Try to have a glass of water in between each one and definitely shy away from the egg-nog!  I don’t care if it’s “lite”.  You might as well have a bowl of ice cream!  Most egg nog is full of sugar and fat as well as High Fructose Corn Syrup, which we now know suppresses your body’s signal to stop eating.  So not only are you going to scarf down the ‘liquid bow of ice cream’, you are likely to eat your body weight in sausage balls and santa cookies as well.  Find the veggie tray, if there is one, or plan to eat elsewhere.

Play it smart.  Don’t let your holiday season go to your gut!